Clearly Alive: 2017, A Recap

From the moment I moved into what was supposed to be "our" house, the Narcissist made it extremely clear that I was an inconvenience to him, disrupting his life. He told me I needed to move out on January 26th, 2017, the same day that I officially turned over the keys to the apartment.

February

After the "Reno Run 4 Love."

February was devoted to volunteering with the local FRC team. I welcomed it as a distraction, as things at home were not going well. The Narcissist and I also ran a four mile race together. I was hoping it would be a fresh start, but he had drastically different plans.

March

Just chilling with my Olive Thief in my own apartment.
It is safer to live alone than to live with someone who does not want you.

The Narcissist continued to make it very clear that he wanted out of our marriage. Shortly after our third wedding anniversary, I realized I needed to give him what he wanted because my life was on the line. His abuse crossed undeniably into the physical realm when he went to inject my Solu-Cortef straight into a bone on March 10th, 2017.

I had to escape and escape fast. I moved into a casino for a few days as I started the proceedings for a divorce. Eventually, I was able to pick up keys to my own apartment with the incredible support of my family and a few friends.

April

April was dedicated to surviving the minefield of divorcing a Narcissistic abuser. Dear readers, I hope you never have to experience that. It is beyond terrifying. But I am Clearly Alive.

May

On May 11th, 2017, the judge signed the divorce decree making it legal and binding. Later in the month, I visited Texas for a work conference. This allowed me to meet up with my family afterwards.

June

I left Nevada in June. My employer understood my situation and fully supported my move to safety. My parents helped me finish packing up what limited items I was able to recover after the divorce. Before I left, I was able to visit Tahoe one last time to say good-bye. It thanked me by snowing. In. June.

July

To start out July, I attended Kaboom Town by myself. I am Amber Nicole. And I am back. I also sought professional counseling to help process the trauma from the past few years. Towards the end of the month, I made a trip to California to visit my parents, explore Six Flags Magic Mountain, see Disneyland, and ride bicycles along the beach.

August

In August, I met up with my mom in Florida. I was able to experience a life long dream of mine, however the severe sunburn did require a trip to the emergency room for IV fluids. The ER staff was amazing and they validated my decision to escape my covertly physically abusive marriage.

September

September was filled with multiple job interviews in multiple states. While traveling to one of those interviews, I had a less than pleasant encounter with the TSA. The end result was a HUGE win for advocacy efforts, with 47,000 people receiving information on Adrenal Insufficiency. I was also able to attend Oktoberfest with former co-workers. At the end of the month, I accepted an incredible job offer that relocated me to a new state.

October

October marked my first month at my new job. I have a wonderful manager, supportive team, and a role where I am able to shine. I did have to visit a local ER for IV fluids, which was supposed to set me up with a local endocrinologist. However, that doctor was uncomfortable treating me due to my cortisol pump. My parents visited me for my birthday, and it filled their hearts with so much joy to see me thriving in my new location. I also was given the birthday gift of OVER 250,000 blog views! To my Clearly Alive community, thank you.

November

In November, I completed two 5k's, winning awards in both of them. I also started an oil painting class. One of the ladies from that class graciously invited me to spend Thanksgiving with her wonderful family. I added to my own little family with the adoption of Henry Glitch, but I did end up back in the ER for more IV fluids. November also marked the 5th anniversary of this blog.

December

Cortisol pump strapped to my arm. Blue skies in the background.
Ready for adventure.

On my last day in the office for 2017, I was giving a coworker the spark note version of this past year. He confessed he had no idea how I survived so much. He looked at me straight in the eyes and passionately stated "2017 has set you up for an absolutely amazing 2018."

I wanted to cry as I allowed his words to sink in. There were several times this past year that I honestly did not believe I would make it. But I did. I celebrated Christmas with my family before my mom and I headed out on our seven day cruise in the Caribbean. Although, I did have to make another pit stop in another ER for IV fluids the day before I got on the boat.