I am an electrical engineer so charts like this excite me greatly! It's an RLC circuit! Why would I want to discuss a transient circuit on a blog about living with a chronic disease? Let's look at the response of this circuit to any event.
|The input is a square wave. The output does not look like a square wave.|
People often state that life is like a roller coaster. If they are more mathematically inclined, life is a sine wave. I like to think of my life with Adrenal Insufficiency like the response of an underdamped transient circuit. My goal? To approach steady state. I want to stabilize my medicine, my emotions, my health. I want to live that "normal life." Sadly, there are some drastic swings before I can reach steady state. April 19th
and the adventure
following represents one of those swings. But I am happy to report that life is approaching steady state again!
|The ζ controls how violently the response wiggles.|
This electrical engineering graph can describe everyone's life. Every time there is an event or a change, we react. And each reaction is different. Our ζ varies, which controls the amount of oscillation. There are some living with Adrenal Insufficiency who are able to receive the diagnosis, start the medicine, and feel amazing (critically damped, ζ = 1). Lucky ducks! I had to go through YEARS
of experimentation and trial and error before I was able to "stabilize."
And, I still have bad days. But during those wild oscillations (i.e. the super squiggly part on the graph), I must keep the big picture in mind. My adventure of the last two months was difficult
. It started out with a nightmare and continued with an uncountable amount of doctors' appointments and tests. But my life is stabilizing again. I see the "steady state" in sight. And that excites me.
What is the moral of the story? Do not give up hope
. It royally stinks when life is spinning out of control, be it due to a chronic disease, stress with a job, or trouble with a relationship. But don't give up. Things will eventually get better.
I will always fight to be Clearly Alive.
Labels: After College, Random Reflections