My first wedding anniversary was on March 1st, 2015 and I celebrated with a five day cruise to Mexico. The day before I was set to leave on the cruise, Dallas had an ice storm. I do not handle ice storms well
. I ended up having a panic attack at work and my younger brother drove me home. I flat out refuse to drive when Dallas has winter weather conditions due to just the sheer chaos of the roads. On the image below, every single red box represents an accident that occurred on that Friday before noon. No. Thank. You.
|Screen capture of the traffic that day.|
When DFW gets ice, the city basically shuts down due to all the wrecks.
My brother has much more experience driving in winter conditions and was able to ensure my safe transport back to my apartment where I could begin the dreaded task of packing. It doesn't really matter what time I start packing for a trip, I always end up finishing around the same time - well after midnight.
|Helpful cat helps with packing.|
The next morning, I met some friends for breakfast before starting the five hour drive to the cruise terminal. The roads were still extremely icy, but at least they were empty.
|First siting of our boat! The Carnival Magic.|
I made it safely to the cruise terminal port, but arrived behind schedule. I was herded into long lines where I struggled to remain standing. I went to sit down away from the crowds while my husband
remained in the line. Eventually, we made it past all the checkpoints and were able to board the ship.
The crew attempted to direct me towards participation in the mandatory safety drill already in progress before I could go to the room. I told them I was not feeling well and I did not believe I could participate. I tried to explain that the safest thing for me with my medical condition would be to lay down in my room and rest. Plus, I had participated in these drills before. They informed me that not participating was not an option and I was required to go to the safety drill. I smiled and acknowledged their words, but the moment they weren't looking, I snuck into the room anyway.
It was only 3:30pm, and I was done for the day.
I skipped dinner that night. I slept through it. My husband left me alone. I should have recognized the signs that I was getting into that danger low cortisol zone sooner. Ice on the roads should not have triggered a panic attack at work. A five hour car ride should not have made it impossible for me to stand up. These were inappropriate responses and small warning signs that I needed more cortisol.
I was very discouraged that first night of our vacation. In my mind I believed that this chronically ill wife was ruining everything. Would this be how our entire trip would play out?
Part Two can be found here.
|Photo from the boat representing a new morning and a fresh start.|
Labels: Anxiety, Back in Texas, Running Buddy, Steroids, Traveling